Oxford Hamsters 2-0 Wycombe 7XI
This week Captain Carter had a full complement of Hamsters, with all this season’s usual suspects present and correct, albeit with AMH still in an umpiring-only capacity owing to injury. We were particularly pleased to welcome back Mr S Mason from the Far East, our very own Chris Patton, although he seemed to be still suffering from the after effects of a 16 hour flight and a single-handed attempt to drink the business class bar dry.
Unusually, as the game started we were all over our opposition. After ten minutes, as centre back, I had hardly touched the ball and Mr Bence was doing the crossword. Wycombe, featuring familiar faces such as Pony-Tail Bloke and sundry veteran South Africans, quickly descended into their now familiar internecine bickering which hardly helped their cause. Unfortunately, we could not find the net and the half ended 0-0.
For the second half, Mase passed on his umpiring duties to Robin, so reprising his role with Jones (J) as the Stadler & Waldorf of OHC up front. At the start of the second half, Wycombe upped their game and the defence had to work well to keep Wycombe at bay. As seems now to be the pattern for Wycombe games, one of the opposition had to be ferried off to the JR, this time with concussion after a clash of heads with Anand.
After a near certain flick for the Hamsters was denied, we finally took the lead after John Spry picked up a rebounded ball following a JJ short corner strike. Soon after, John was in the same spot to pick up another loose ball to make it 2-0. At this point, Wycombe descended into disarray. As well as continuing to argue amongst themselves, they took to whinging at the umpires. AMH managed to keep a lid on things but his patience must have been sorely tried. After yet another appeal failed, the Wycombe captain subbed himself off, uttering the words “..he’s not worth it” as he trudged off, obviously having watched too much Eastenders.
2-0 at full time was a fully deserved result as we had all played well and had Wycombe on the ropes for most of the game. No doubt a feisty game will be in store when we make the return trip to Cressex, although they do nice teas there, as I recall.
Jones: “I’ve been missing you.” Mason: “You mean you’ve been missing the net.”
Goal scorer: Mr Crisp & Dry (2)
Man of the match: Two-goal Spry
DOTD: Jet-Set Mason
Match reporter: Wild
Umpires: AMH, Robin/Mase
Team: Tim Bence, Alex Evans, Anand Gupta, Alan Newbold, Robin Allen, Dick Walker, Ian Wild, Sath Vadivale, Kyle Walker, John Spry, Adrian Harris, Marcus Carter, Jones (J), Mr S Mason